We should have known Gibraltar was going to be a disaster the moment Ross nearly ran over the British border security guy. To be fair, it wasn’t really Ross’ fault. The border security guy pointed to a spot at his feet, and dutifully, Ross drove right to that very spot! He’s very obedient, and follows instruction to the letter, it would seem. I mentally file this fact for future reference.

It took about 1 hour 15 minutes to drive from the apartment to Gibraltar. It’s weird, leaving Spain and entering part of the British Empire – where suddenly, everything switches to English. But it’s not just the language that changes – it’s everything: the food becomes stodgier, the service is surly, the decor is glum. The food at the Piccadilly Garden Bar was quite easily the worst food we have eaten in weeks. Even the vending machine was broken.

We patiently queue to catch to gondola to the top of the rock. The weather was fantastic with bright sunshine and blue skies. The views were amazing – we could see Africa, and snow on the Sierra Nevada Mountains, and the ships moving like tiny toys nearly 500m below us. Oh, and we saw monkeys.

Ross and I have a shared hatred for monkeys – they’re disgusting, vile little creatures, vicious and sneaky. As the gondola pulled into the top station, the monkeys were crowded around the platform and on the hand rails. There were squeals of delight and “oh they’re so cute” from one Americano lady.

“Be careful,” says Ross to her. “Keep your bag away from them and don’t get too close”. Not one to be daunted by Ross’ cynical advice, she posed for photos next to monkeys. She then puts her bag on the ground and starts rummaging around inside to get her camera. Quick as a flash, a big monkey is into the bag, snatching away a plastic bag (which turns out was full of lollies) and scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Ross gives her a disparaging look. I can feel an ‘I told you so’ coming – but he resists, and walks away.

Monkeys aside, you can tell why countries have fought over this rocky outcrop for centuries. It towers over the narrow waters between Africa and Spain, a natural bottleneck for everything that enters the Mediterranean Sea. The British captured Gibraltar in 1704 during the War of the Spanish Succession, and Spain has wanted it back ever since.

Successive referendum proposals to share sovereignty between Spain and the UK have been overwhelmingly rejected, the first in 1967, the most recent in 2002. We rejected Gibraltar too. It was good to go there, but it was even better to leave. Hola Espana – we’re back! And, as if to emphasis our welcome, the Spanish border control waved us through, not even bothering to check passports.

#ILoveSpain #MonkeysAreEvil